Fun Day Today

I hung out with two friends that I have not seen in a long time -- probably years.

Yeah, I think years.

We ate dinner at this place called Mr. and Mrs. Wok. They have great Italian food there -- very unique taste. The spaghetti there was called "yakisoba" and the meat balls were flat and came on a sizzling plate and was called "bulgogi". I recommend.

Plus the old lady came and laughed at my pervert jokes. Liked it so much she gave all of us extra candy at the end of our meal. Dum-dums to be exact. She is mirin' my aesthetics (read: admiring my aesthetics). She is also 50+ years old.

After that we got coffee and drinks and chocolate stuff at Chocolati. There we discussed the decline of America On-Line and speculated what was root cause of its demise. We also shared our past AOL screen names -- Jennyl was 'Oh Ship a Scooter' (notsureifsrs, read: not sure if serious), Nga was 'hoochiegirl86' or something along those lines (probs srs), mine was AJ Bingo 316 (I had an infatuation with wrestling at the time which may or may not involve Stone Cold Steve Austin).

I also divulged to them how I got my family banned from America On-Line within a month of subscribing. I was nine years old and it involves Magic: The Gathering. I promise I will write about it in a future blog post. Nga also divulged that her dates like to take her to cemetery's because "it's fun". I think that might be code name for boning (???) because cemetery's have dead people and dead people turn to skeletons and skeletons have bones. Two hundred and six bones, to be exact.

That's a lot of boning.

Nga got a new car called a Leaf and apparently it runs on only electrons. Naturally everybody drove it around the same block to see how it felt. Not me because I am asian and I don't drive very well and I also drive a mini-van.

OK, I'm done.

High School Letter Breakup

Summary:
He does not want to goto an event with Asusna. He wants to go with another female because she...

• ...is older
• ... has a supple rear and voluptuous breasts (see: "tet tet's" and "that a$5")
• ...will let him have sex with her on his birthday
• ....is a crip. 

Umm....

Returning Home

I'm on the way back home from NY -- I'm on the plane right now.

I originally had a NotePad file with notes from NY that I was going to use to create a NY blog post.

I'm going to scrap that.

Partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because of the enormous amount of things we did -- we went everywhere. Multiple times. We walked. Alot. I usually hate walking, but I got way better at it just because of the sheer amount of walking we did every day.

Our days usually played out like this: Wake up around 12, eat a big lunch, walk around and do stuff for 7 hours, drink copious amounts of alcohol, head home at 5AM in the morning. We ate at all the good spots. Saw all the good spots. Had all the good times.

Special shout out to Joanne for having us over the whole time -- your hospitality is most definitely appreciated. I wish you luck in your upcoming med school interviews!

One random thing about New York that I thought was cool was that I could fart in public at will. New York is definitely home to some bad smells. It's to the point where I could let off some mean bare butt e-scent-uals and people we be like 'Man this city stinks!'

New York is awesome.

Who is the cutest?

http://www.whoisthecutest.com

Allergies

The word 'allergy' is derived from the Ancient Greek words allos meaning 'other' and ergon meaning 'work'.

The word 'allergy' is also derived from the Arthur-ology words f*cking and dumb.

Allergies blow. If allergies ever happen to take the form of a person, I would punch it in the throat and give it eight headlocks.

It doesn't matter though -- I still would get my ass kicked. I swear I get hit from all angles *pause*. I get red eyes, inflamed everything, interminable bouts of sneezing, and the runny-but-stuffy-at-the-same-time nose.

How does that even happen? Dumb.

I mean, I'd be cool with having allergies if I could just sit at home and chill. It's another thing when you have to work for 8+ hours everyday being snot nosed the whole time. You know you might have a problem with allergies when your co-workers tell you your eyes are all jacked up right when you arrive to work.

I'ma just swag surf this out though. Just gotta make sure I'm heavily equipped with some Alevert and those Kleenex with the built-in lotion.

You know, for the runny-but-stuffy-at-the-same-time-nose.

This is common at work...

No joke.

Do not go into the men's bathroom after lunch. It is straight down to business in there. Dudes enter, make a bee-line straight to the available stall, close the door, drop trow, and drop bombs -- no joke.

Refer to my previous post about the Art of Taking a Deuce at Work.

I'll admit it, I've hunkered down in the trenches and engaged in my own Call of Duty: Modern Warfare... and I've come out alive and is now a decorated veteran -- I'm Prestige level 10, ya'll just privates *pause*.

You've been educated! Take it easy ya'll!

Slow and steady wins the race...

I am the slowest walker in the world.

A newborn baby fresh from the womb could walk faster than me. But wait Arthur, newborn babies can't walk!

Exactly.

I figured this out while walking to work. You see, my worksite is so big that if you are only 5 minutes past 7:30AM... there is limited parking left.

This means your ass is walking a marathon.

Not literally 26+ miles, but seriously it's about a mile from my car to my desk at work. I arrive at my desk with sweat beads pouring from my forehead.

Did I mention I walk excruciatingly slow also?

Those DSL turtles on TV would be proud -- it takes me about 20 minutes to complete the trek. I get passed by EVERYBODY. Initially I thought maybe it was that they were taller so they covered more ground, then this small Asian lady zooms past me. Go figure. They make this interminable death march for me seem like a short 30 feet jaunt at the pace they are going.

It's okay though -- slow and steady wins the race. Why? Because at the end of the day when I walk to my lonely minivan, guess what I get to do...

...and guess who smells it? All those rabbits passing me up.

Spicy!

Cassie, why?

Ya'll know about Cassie -- that half black, half filipina girl that sung that song about me? Me & U?

I know them other guys, they been talking bout the way I do what I do
They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true
They know you're the one I wanna give it to
I can see you want me too
Now, it's me and you... Arthur.

Well, I turned her down recently. Retorting back, she ends up doing this..


I'm perplexed. I'm distraught. I'm vexed.

How you gonna have a cleaner lineup than me? How you gonna have a barber just give you a skin tight just like that? Only on one side, to boot. What part of the game is this? But whatever, you still cute. I'll still let you play Street Fighter and eat Haagen Dazs pints with me, eff it.

Too much Fighting Cock

Alcohol can be such an asshole sometimes.

Especially 103 Proof alcohol named after feisty male genitalia, under the guise of fighting, ferocious game chickens.

My birthday was a lot of fun! It was like a rollercoaster, except it only had two parts -- the part where excitement courses through your veins as you keep going up and up... then to the point where your supposed trip to the heavens is abruptly interrupted as you breach the crest and just go careening towards the ground.

Too much Fighting Cock.

Drink's kept coming to me. Being the occasional asshole and that it's my birthday, I take on all comers -- pounding them out as if I was a combination of Justin Slayer and Mr. Marcus. *pause*

Eventually, the inevitable dethroning of King Arthur happened. I just wished that it didn't happen before 11 PM.

Too much Fighting Cock.

I mean, I didn't even get to go out to the bar I was supposed to go to -- I was blacked out and dunzo by then. Some things that I did as told to me by my friends the next day:

Acting like a douche, I yelled out "WHAT UP!?" as I was stumbling to the bathroom. I then run into the wall.

I sat down on the curb then just fell backwards and smacked my head on some gravel. This explains the bumps on my head the next morning.

I went to go pee next to some dumpsters in an alley with my roommate *pause*. After he's done, he rounds the corner to find me laying down on the ground. In the alley.

Too much Fighting Cock.

Not everybody could make it out because it was a Tuesday, but to everybody that did... thanks ya'll! I truly appreciate each and every one of you for coming and celebrating King Arthur's birthday.

Prettty much everywhere, it's gon be hot..

You're welcome, miss news lady.

Look what I found at the grocery store!

I went on a trip to Canada with some friends to show some of the Japanese students around. We had all-you-can-eat-and-get-chubby-lol-like-arthur sushi and did some shopping.

Some of the exchange students wanted to buy these Canadian cookies for souvenirs/nom noms for their friends, family, boyfriends. Couldn't figure out where they got that idea -- American cookies are way better, and American. Thin mints and Samoas? That's the super combo right there.

Anyway, I found this at the grocery store down one of the aisles...

I found the Philippines! I didn't know my home country was nestled between Maple Canadian Cookies and Double Stuff'd Oreos! I guess this counts as my 3rd visit.

Some other interesting finds at this grocery store...

Nice, cookies that make you shit!

Can't forget the rest of the family -- Ma, Pa, Lola, and brother need to take the deucey too!

Canada's interesting. Thanks Linh for taking the pictures.

Arthur out!

New toy!

I got a microcontroller from my embedded microprocessors class! I'll definitely have to fend off all the ladies when I tote this bad boy around -- this shit even has more pull than my mama's minivan that I drive in around here.

In fact, I wrote a haiku about it:

I got a new toy
It's green and has buttons, lol
spaghetti meatballs

Enough with that though, pictures!





I all tried to be a little artsy with it on that last one -- don't know how far you can get with art when you're dealing with *snort snort* microprocessors *snort snort chortle*.

Arthur out!

Jumping Jacks -- Harder than you'd think...

Growing up, jumping jacks were the easiest thing for my pudgy wudgy body to do -- it was the push-ups and sit-ups that got me.

Although apparently, people on the other side of the world have a little bit of trouble doing them...



I mean seriously? I've watched this so many times and I still laugh -- dudes lookin' like they doing the Chicken Dance x I'm A Little Teapot collabo. Dude on the right takes the cake (even though I don't like cake).

Happy New Year's - A year-in-review!

A year has come and gone -- for both real life AND this blog.

Remember this? My first post!

Can you believe it? I didn't even realize it until now. I've actually written in this blog for a year -- a year of me talking bullshit, a year of me talking knowledge, a year of me talking sexy.

With that, I'd like to highlight some of my favorite entries that I've written over the year. Looking back though, I think that every entry I write is pretty awesome. I'm not even joking when I say this. I mean sometimes I'm short on time and just share a YouTube video, but that YouTube video is the creme de le creme of the internet. Guaranteed. Pretty narcissistic of me, but I think that comes with the territory when you visit this page... am I right? ;]

The Computer Love post
This was where I talked about how to figure out if a female really wants to knock the boots or just wants to play checkers with you. I picked this because it was my first "Arthur Wisdom" post.

Smells like Chimmychangas! post
This entry was when I wrote about getting thrown up on in a club in Seattle, sitting in my girlfriend's car with her some of her familiy without my pants on, eating a hotdog. It was a good hotdog.

My pie post
Pie shits on cake.

My MySpace Survey post
Entry where I delve into the complex relationship between girls and MySpace surveys. Arthur Wisdom at its finest. I even participate in a survey to put myself in a female's shoes. Then in their pants -- not literally though. See what I did there?

My pooping in a corporate environment post
Once you read this, your chances of taking a deucer undisturbed will go up 200%.

Runner-up: My awkward work story post where I pass insane amounts of flatulence in the elevator thinking I would be by myself, but instead receive an unexpected guest.

My maui chips video
Was my first video where I felt my video editing skills have reached a new level. I was really happy with how this turned out. Pretty much everything was impromptu -- it was just me and my brother acting ourselves. This led to me making breakfast for you guys and showing you how excited I get when snow first touches down.

There are many entries that I left out -- I think I have a total of around 100 posts? Pretty crazy. But anyway, these are the ones that I, myself, Arthur, the man, the king, the bo$$, find particularly dear to my heart.

Take it easy, and let's usher in a great new year!

Christmas recap!

Christmas was pretty nice!

'Tis the season to give.. so I put out no homo. I gave out pretty good gifts, but for one of them I put a little bit more effort into it -- I actually made it! I made a soft pastel painting/drawing/whateveryoucallit for my girlfriend. Put some of that Arthur magic to work you know what I'm sayin!

I made a video capturing it's creation/celebration.

Get em!

As for what I got, I got some pretty cool gifts.

I get pretty lonely sometimes being away from home and my girlfriend so my mom got me a lonely companion pillow for those nights where I just wanna lay down, cry, and listen to 808's and heartbreak...


My brother knows that I really really like authentic shoes -- if I get fakes I get hella pissed! SO pissed, you would not believe. With that in mind, he got me these exclusive Spongebob Jordans.

I'ma be breakin' hella necks with these.. man I'ma lock down all the breezies and feezies once I get back on campus. My swagger's on high.

My pops, he knows I play a good amount of video games -- it's a great way for me to wind down after a hard day's work. With that, he bought me a next-generation video game system: that PX-3600! Straight up shits on XBOX360's...

This plays that new video format, Gray-Ray... not that old ass Blu-Ray. You guys got that 1080p and shit, I gots that hundred, thousand, trillion p... straight up jizz in my pants resolution.

Thank you to everybody who gave me a present, thought of me, said hi to me, gave me a hug, gave me a kiss, gave me a special kiss, thank you! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve!

Today is Christmas Eve!

Tomorrow is Christmas!

I'm sexy!

Christmas has kind of lost its luster for me. Not as a holiday but more on how excited I used to get when that time rolled around.

I was one of THOSE kids -- the ones that would do any and everything to figure out what presents I got. I would scour the whole house for the video games I asked for, make little rips in the gift wrapping so I could get that little peek, beat up my little brother to get him to spill the beans...

Then when Christmas rolls around... I was literally like this kid.

I used to do that EXACTLY. Even down to the incessant petting of the box with both the back and fronts of my hands.

I like how he opens the next present and he's like 'wtf is this boolshiet' hahaha

Ahhh.... memories.

Merry Christmas ya'll!

Happy Holidays!

Stay up no homo!

I'll be sure to post pictures of all the wonderful pieces of coal I get!

I know my destination, but I'm just not there..

Today is the first official day of winter break -- this means one more academic quarter in the books. It also means working out, killin cats at that Halo, hanging out with family and friends, being sexy, etc.

This also means that I'll be staying back at my parent's house until the new year rolls around.

My lola's been here too and I love it because I don't really get to see her very much because she lives in Canada. All I have to do is smile at her and her face lights up as she replies back with the brightest smile...

I appreciate her staying her and I cherish the times I have with her now because she will be going to the Philippines sometime soon. I cherish both of my grandma's -- I've never had the chance to meet my grandpa's as they passed away before I was born. My mom always tells me I get my drawing talent from them.

Lola's been sleeping in my room so I get the trusty money-green colored couch. Halla!

Well alright, I'm still a little under the weather so I'ma go rest... but you already know I'ma celebrate...

...at least a little bit. hahahah

Beyonce.

This week I'm studying for my finals in the kitchen, away from my computer so I'm actually a little bit productive. Thing is, I can still see the TV from the kitchen... so I'm glancing over and I see the music video for Beyonce - Single Ladies.

Cot damn.

Every time I see this video, I get memorized for a little. It's like her movements putting me in a trance, drooling all over my big ass lips, getting my homework all wet and shit. How did Jay-Z bag this? I'm wondering this because for sure dude's not pullin' with his look game.. no homo. Maybe his swagger is on hundred, thousand, trillion... like Arthur.

Anyway, Beyonce gots it like that. She's definitely up there for me... but not above my girlfriend (see what I did there?).

But anyway, I get tired of studying and hop on the computer for a little bit and I see this...

Graaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I gotta go... hahaha

Arthur Cooks Breakfast!

I love breakfast.

I especially love eggs.

Since I enjoy breakfast, I decided to show you how I get down -- how Arthur cooks that big boy breakfast! Big breakfast for big boys, you gotta feel it.

Tell me why I opened up a fresh carton of eggs fresh from Costco, and one of them are missing! What. The. Eff. Got bopped the coldest... but I'ma fight through it.

So let me cook breakfast for you...

Get down on it!

Tuscani Pasta's legit

After a rough night of drinking, the roommates and I decided to get somethin' a little on the greasy side. We ended up deciding on demystifying the mystery that is Pizza Hut pasta.

I mean, Pizza Hut pasta? Really? I know you've seen that commercial on TV where they are in some nice ass Italian restaurant in New York and these people are all ranting and raving about it.. then boom its fkn Pizza Hut!

So we got a 2 pound plate of it with 5 breadsticks...

We got the chicken parm, the pasta of bo$$e$. We were all pleasantly surprised! We killed it all in one sitting, halla @ us, swagger @ 100, 1000, 1000000000, etc.

So in the end, Tuscani Pasta from Pizza Hut is pretty legit.

What's also legit is the case of the runs I got from it soon after but don't worry about that!