Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Awkward Work Story

Ever come into work late? Ever have to make up time at the end of the day? It happens to me every once in a while -- whoever invented the Snooze button was a genius... but shit, it eff's me up the butt sometimes *pause*.

Well the other day I was late to work and had to make it up by staying over a little bit more. No big deal. 4 o'clock hits. People start trudging out the door to enjoy reality, trickling out the big company doors only to face the asphalt abomination that is I-405. Eventually only one remains, King Arthur the Intern.

Another hour passes and I'm dunzo! I pack my stuff and head for the elevator. While waiting for the elevator to hit (I'm on the 5th floor), I start getting the bubble guts. You know the feeling, where all the fart and gas that you've been bottling up the whole day that starts seeping out once you start to get up and move. The feeling that makes you regret eating that 99 cent beef and potato burrito. Yeah, that feeling.

I think to myself, "Heheh nobody's here Arthur, don't worry. Just loose once you get in. You're a bo$$."

Once I step in, I let 'er rip. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTTTTTTT... BRUUUTT... BRUT... BRut. I swear if I was bare assed and sitting on a piece of construction paper, I would have ripped that shit in half off the strength of my gas *pause*.

I'm grinning ear to ear as I watch the elevator LED display read 5th Floor... 4th Floor...


My grin instantly fades. Shit. Somebody is going to enter.

It's my co-worker. A co-worker that is equivalent to a manager. Damnit.

"Hello, Arthur."

I muster out a "Hey, how's it goin'?" before we just stand there, reveling in the wondrous, poisonous scent that is Arthur Fart. Awkward. Seemed like it took forever to hit the 1st floor.

"Have a good day!" ... "Thanks Arthur, you too."

Needless to say, I left with the quickness.

At the end of the day though, you just gotta laugh at it -- man... whatever hahahahah. That's just life for you. Well Arthur's life, I don't know.

Take it easy, ya'll.


  1. lol i wanna know what your co-worker thought about your aromatic farts

    brrrruuuutttt brut brut brut