A newborn baby fresh from the womb could walk faster than me. But wait Arthur, newborn babies can't walk!
Exactly.
I figured this out while walking to work. You see, my worksite is so big that if you are only 5 minutes past 7:30AM... there is limited parking left.
This means your ass is walking a marathon.
Not literally 26+ miles, but seriously it's about a mile from my car to my desk at work. I arrive at my desk with sweat beads pouring from my forehead.
Did I mention I walk excruciatingly slow also?
Those DSL turtles on TV would be proud -- it takes me about 20 minutes to complete the trek. I get passed by EVERYBODY. Initially I thought maybe it was that they were taller so they covered more ground, then this small Asian lady zooms past me. Go figure. They make this interminable death march for me seem like a short 30 feet jaunt at the pace they are going.
It's okay though -- slow and steady wins the race. Why? Because at the end of the day when I walk to my lonely minivan, guess what I get to do...
...and guess who smells it? All those rabbits passing me up.
Spicy!
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