Bobby Flay...

...is a douche.

How you gonna let people think they are hosting a show where they showcase their BEST recipe, then crush their dreams by challenging them, cook the SAME dish the "B FLAY WAY", and quite possibly embarrass them in a showdown in front of ALL their homies?

I mean, dude is a decorated chef and he's gonna pick on little peons of the food game?

This guy has won Emmy's for his cooking show, EMMY'S, and he's gonna pick on cream cheese hot dog truck outside of the Shell station on the corner of Broadway and Pike?

I can picture it now...

Hey Carlos, that's a great hotdog you got there... but here's MY take on the hotdog!

What I've prepared for you all today is a chorizo sausage with roasted red peppers and onions on a modified ciabatta bun, all topped off with a chipotle aoili. All resting on bed of blue maize tortilla chips.

...the hell outta here son.

I'm surprised nobody on the show hasn't gave him a cold duff to the chin yet.

What a douche.

It's a Process

Potatos = salt + pepper + parmesan + olive oil
Meat = chicken + salt + pepper + onions + secret ingredient(s)

What's the secret ingredient(s) you may ask? Secret.

Eat Kobe('s) Beef

Pause.

Saturday night was Diannie and Chantha's engagement dinner at Palisades restaurant in Seattle. I went with Muriel. I have no idea how people find that place, shit's all confusing. But I don't like driving in Seattle period so...

Very nice venue -- I remember I took a prom date there one year in high school. I didn't get any that night. But whatever, I was/is a pretty big nerd and I was prone to making mistakes with the opposite sex. I'm not too shabby now but let's not get into that. ;]

Whilst taking periodic drags of my white zin (am I kewl yet?), my eyes glanced over the menu. One item in particular -- Wagyu steak with some other stuff I don't really care about.

Wagyu steak is pretty much Kobe steak from Japan.

Kobe steak is made from cows who get to drink beer with their food to make them 'happy' -- I just call it getting shitfaced. They also get 'massaged' like everyday -- I just call it sexytime. The theory is that happier cows taste better. Go figure.

I had to order it.

Thing came out with super fancy plating like it was straight off Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto's menu. Meat was firm on the outside, but super soft on the inside. *pause*

As I demolished the whole thing, I couldn't help by think to myself, 'So this is what 65 dollars tastes like...'

But anyway, great dinner you guys and congrats! Thanks for having me.

Filipino Food for Thought

Filipino food.

Earlier today I was wondering, why hasn't Filipino food gone mainstream? I mean, people go out to sample the culinary arts from all over Asia -- Vietnamese (foo!!), Chinese, Japanese, shit.. even Indian -- but it seems like Filipino food got the short end of the stick.

I feel like nobody ever wants to go out and get Filipino food... except for Filipinos. Doesn't make sense because you or your moms, or your dad, or your tito, or your tita should be at least able to make ONE dish. Otherwise, you takin' that..


I think it's because Filipino food is weird.

Like how are you going to call a dish 'chocolate meat' when there's no damn chocolate in it? I ate this so much when I was little, solely on my mom's word that it was actually Hershey's and not Porky Pig's hemoglobin and T-Cells. It's okay though -- I ate everything. I was also fat.

Balut though? This be on that crazy tip -- once I turned ten and figured out what this was, I gave my mom the Heisman every time she offered. I mean, it's a chick fetus. C'mon now. Every time I describe this to one of my friends, they be like this...

Call me not a true Filipino, but I'ma chill with that stuff -- I'll leave it to Andrew Zimmern to do that. I'll still eat Filipino food regardless, but there are just somethings we make that are too weird for it to mainstream.

Arthur out!