Sunglasses

I feel like a douchebag when I wear sunglasses.

I don't know how to explain it, it's like whenever I have them on... I feel like people perceive me as trying to be 'cool' -- like I have a shield up. I only have one pair of Ray-Ban aviators and I barely wear them. I wanted to buy some Wayfarers, but they ended up being too small for my head (I have a big head, pause) and I figured that I wouldn't wear them that much anyway. Maybe?

Arghhh, is this normal? Or do I just needa get slapped real quick?

Wow, this was senseless drivel. I'm going to press 'Publish Post' anyway because I spent time writing this.

Allergies

The word 'allergy' is derived from the Ancient Greek words allos meaning 'other' and ergon meaning 'work'.

The word 'allergy' is also derived from the Arthur-ology words f*cking and dumb.

Allergies blow. If allergies ever happen to take the form of a person, I would punch it in the throat and give it eight headlocks.

It doesn't matter though -- I still would get my ass kicked. I swear I get hit from all angles *pause*. I get red eyes, inflamed everything, interminable bouts of sneezing, and the runny-but-stuffy-at-the-same-time nose.

How does that even happen? Dumb.

I mean, I'd be cool with having allergies if I could just sit at home and chill. It's another thing when you have to work for 8+ hours everyday being snot nosed the whole time. You know you might have a problem with allergies when your co-workers tell you your eyes are all jacked up right when you arrive to work.

I'ma just swag surf this out though. Just gotta make sure I'm heavily equipped with some Alevert and those Kleenex with the built-in lotion.

You know, for the runny-but-stuffy-at-the-same-time-nose.

Dat Tailfeather..

What separates female animals from other female animals?

I mean, homosapien women have many ways to distinguish from each other -- boobs, ass, face, legs, feet (lol). What do girl animals have? I don't know about you guys, but all animals look the same to me.

You show me two birds, one female and one male, then ask me to tell you which one is which?

Show me a naked women and a naked male... I'd like to trust myself that I would know which one has a wii wii and which one has a toy toy. Then I might say "IGAB" (only looking at the female picture) *pause*

Can anybody tell me? Like what would make a male parrot act out like this...

Like is it that thick tailfeather that gets them goin'? Is it those nice talons? How about a nice beak?

I don't even know.

Arthur wonders... Vol. Milk

Milk.

Despite a lot of asians being lactose intolerant (or just hate milk), I love milk -- milk in my cereal, milk in my protein, milk in my mouth *pause*. I'm big bonededed (or fat), and I attribute my strong bones (or pudginess) to milk! Milk's awesome! Suck it!

But the real question is... who actually figured out we can drink milk?

If you think about it, the origin of milk's kinda gross. I mean, did somebody just walk up to the four-legged animal we now know as a cow, look at the part of the body that resembles a male organ that we now as an udder, and go "Let's squeeze this and drink what comes out! Come on!"

It doesn't help that its white too... *pause*

Blame it on Animal Planet HD having a cow segment!