Sunday, September 27, 2009

One of the Best Songs Ever


Bet you didn't know Arthur likes this kinda music too. I mean, baby making music, elevator music, shoot-your-block-up-then-engage-in-coital-acts-with-your-mother music has there place... but this stuff I'll always listen to.

I played guitar for about 5-6 years. I haven't had the time to whip it out lately *pause*... but man, this brings it back.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Best of Puff Daddy

Saw this show on MTV last night after America's Best Dance Crew -- Puff Daddy's Starmaker.

C'mon dawg.

When was the last time Puffy has created a hit group, that has lasted more than 2 years? Where's Mase at? Where's Loon at? Where's Dream at? Where's 112 at? Where's Faith Evans at? Where's Mario Winans at? Where's Danity Kane at?

I mean, I respect Puffy's business acumen, but damn, that's a lot of people. I'm sure I'm missing a lot more.

Let's look to the positive side. Let's remember the best things that Puff Daddy did -- Jodeci and Notorious BIG. There was an era where Puff had it straight up locked down. I bet so many babies got made to 'Come and Talk to Me', especially the remix. Man I remember back in the 6th grade and every kid was singing 'Mo Money, Mo Problems'. I swear, if you didn't know the lyrics, you got NO play.

I didn't know the lyrics. Oh well.

But let's look back, to a classic...

Instead of doing stuff like this, Puff's trying to do this TV thing -- not a good look. Puffy actually had some lyricism back then...
"We spend cheese, in the West Indies,
then come home, to plenty cream Bentleys,
you name it, I could claim it,
Young, black, and famous, with money hangin' out the anus"
*pause*
If you disagree with me and think otherwise, and that you actually enjoy his shows...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Worst Bet Ever.

Watched the Mayweather/Marquez fight at my dude Dex's house. Thanks for having me, doggie.

It was a great fight. At least what I remembered of it. Reason why I couldn't remember? Who else but my great friend tequila!

I had my heart set on Marquez winning. So much that I bet my soberness on it -- every round that Marquez lost, I drank a shot. Every time Marquez got knocked down, I drank a shot.

The results? Marquez lost every round. Marquez also got knocked down in the 2nd round.

Damnit.

Think about it, a round is 3 minutes. So effectively I drank 13 shots in 36 minutes. Goodbye sober Arthur, hello drunk Arthur! As Marquez was getting his ass beat, Arthur was also getting his ass beat -- Marquez was taking jabs and left hooks in the face, Arthur was taking tequila shots to the face.

The tequila was appropriately called 'Two Fingers', two fingers that got PIMB *pause*. Ended up getting real sick -- I ruined my hoody too.

Worst bet ever.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

People crack me up..

I've always been fascinated by interpersonal communication. Just the way people interact with each other and react in certain situations -- I find it interesting.

You may be thinking,
'Arthur you're just using that as an excuse to check out girls!'
No way. Why you think of such a thing? I would never do that.

Maybe.

But seriously, it piques my interest. And it cracks me up sometimes too...

An example -- have you ever payed close attention to how quick a person's smile fades after any type of interaction? It could be anything, a joke, a fleeting greeting, somebody farted... anything.

It seems like they are genuinely smiling, then they walk away and boom -- instant stone face.

I've noticed this everywhere, especially at work when people say 'Hi' to each other like on the way to the printer or something (close to wear I sit). Like this...

So into it, so geniune... then . It's like dude transformed into Morpheus...

I'ma go run in the rain now... take it easy!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West Wins

I'm sure most of you have saw what Mr. West did on the MTV VMA's the other day.

Yeah, yeah...Kanye West is an asshole, prick, etc.

Fact of the matter is, he's still winning. Why?

Gripping a fifth of Hennessy in one hand, and Amber Rose's sweetcakes in the other. That's a W.

Kanye West can be a d-bag sometimes -- well, most of the time. But you have to admit, he has worked hard to get to where he is at right now. He's still one of my favorite artists as I feel that he has ushered in an era of quality music in this day and age.

Kanye West put it best...
'Only thing I wanna know is what I get looked over,
I guess I'll understand when I get more older,
Big Brother saw me at the bottom of the totem,
Now I'm on top and everybody on the scrotum.'

-Kanye West, Big Brother

He stays teetering the line between musical genius and down right asshole, but you gotta hand it to him -- Mr. West is here to stay.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Tonight's Going to be a Good Night!

No. It's not.

This song is hot basura with spoiled mayo on top.

I mean, how long did it take to write this song? Two minutes? I hum better songs while I'm relieving myself at work. I can picture it now...

Will.i.am: 'Hey guys, let's write a song.'

Apl.de.ap, Taboo, Fergie, in unison: 'Okay.'

Will.i.am: 'Alright. 1, 2.. 1, 2, 3 ...!'

Apl.de.ap, Taboo, Fergie, in unison: 'Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night!'

Will.i.am: 'WOW! That's what's up! We gotta switch it up a little bit though...'

Apl.de.ap, Taboo, Fergie, in unison: 'Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good night! Tonight's going to be a good GOOD night!'

Will.i.am: 'YES!'


Only builds upon my fear that music will never be the same. I hate to play the elitist, but it's true.

Maybe it's because the Black Eyed Peas USED to be good, then they succumbed to commercialization in search of paying dividends.

Compare that to 'I Gotta Feeling'. You joking me?

I gotta feeling, that I'm going to go doo doo.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

You're kidding me.... right?

Astounding article that I just read...

http://www.switched.com/2009/09/08/endangered-pre-teens-update-facebook-status-instead-of-dialing-9/

If you were trapped or lost in a storm drain, but still had cell phone reception, how would you reach out for help? Perhaps call 911, or its equivalent? We're sure you wouldn't rely on updating your Facebook status.

But that's exactly what a pair of girls in Adelaide, Australia did when they wandered into just such a drain Sunday. The 10- and 12-year-old girls used their cell phones to update their statuses on the social networking site in order to let friends know they were lost under the streets of their suburban neighborhood. The Metropolitan Fire Service (MFS) rescued the girls, but only after their friends had called 000, the Australian equivalent of 911.

The MFS was concerned about the girls' communicating via Facebook rather than calling emergency responders directly, but it is quite possible the girls felt as if they were in no immediate danger. Glenn Benham, one of the involved firefighters, told the Daily Mail, "We could have come to their rescue much faster than relying on someone else being online, then replying to them, then calling us. It is a worrying development." He continued, "Young people should realize it's better to contact us directly. Luckily they are safe and well. It's awful to think what could have happened because of the delay."

On first thought, for someone in a potentially perilous situation, local authorities seem like the first group to call. But, as no cell phone's battery life is as long as we'd like, a Facebook update or tweet would would better conserve your phone's precious energy. As one Atlanta, Georgia city councilman showed, sometimes the Internet is faster than a phone. Similarly, Web-based updates are quick and quiet, perfect for a potentially violent situation like a home invasion. Expect to see more 911-esque alert messages popping up on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks in the future. [From: ABCNews and Daily Mail via Mashable]


Wat.

'I'm stuck in a dark sewer filled with poo water. What should I do? I know! I'll Tweet!'


Please let this be a joke.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

This is common at work...



No joke.

Do not go into the men's bathroom after lunch. It is straight down to business in there. Dudes enter, make a bee-line straight to the available stall, close the door, drop trow, and drop bombs -- no joke.

Refer to my previous post about the Art of Taking a Deuce at Work.

I'll admit it, I've hunkered down in the trenches and engaged in my own Call of Duty: Modern Warfare... and I've come out alive and is now a decorated veteran -- I'm Prestige level 10, ya'll just privates *pause*.

You've been educated! Take it easy ya'll!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Yoga?

Many of my female friends have done yoga.

I have always wondered about what makes yoga so great -- it's just stretching. Maybe I'm biased because I'm not very limber, maybe I'm biased because I'd probably fart mid stretch, who knows. Whatever.

But now I know the reason why girls like to do yoga...

This HAS to be the reason. I know it.

This also confirms that I will not be doing yoga anytime soon. Maybe as an instructor...?

Syke, I'm playin'. Maybe.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

WTF CAPTCHA?

Pretty sure even though you all may not know what a CAPTCHA is, you know what a CAPTCHA is.

Doesn't make sense? Let me explain.

A captcha are those weird words the internet asks you to type in to verify that it is actually a human using the computer, and not some robot. You know, those funky pictures that are all swirly and ask you to type some letters in... popular examples is if your signing up for something, buying something off the internet, watching adult videos. You know, common stuff.

They look like this...

Now that you know what they are... look at the captcha I got the other day on Facebook.

How are you going to make me type a calculus problem as a captcha? How are you going to make me use a TI-89 Titanium graphing calculator to post something on my Facebook? Am I going to need a number 2 pencil and paper to do this?

Seriously though, how do expect me to do that fraction? Of course if I wanted to take the time to try and figure this out, I would have got it easy. But, c'mon... just to post on my Facebook? Really?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Twitter?

I've constantly debated with myself if I should get a Twitter account.

Multiple people have told me that I should, and that they would follow me. The question that I pose to you is, why?

Why would you want to follow Arthur?

I am just an undercover nerd that spends his free time reading articles on the internet, reading rad fantasy novels, playing Street Fighter 4 for hours on end, watching YouTube videos of professional video gamers.

I mean, I do normal stuff too. I have hobbies that I'm good at! I swear. Really.

I just never really got the point of Twitter -- I can envision my updates now...
"Alright guys, just saw a cute girl at work eating a popsicle. IGAB." 20 minutes ago

"I'm thirsty but I can't stand up to goto the water fountain because IGAB" 10 minutes ago

"Finally got some water." 5 minutes ago

"This water is really good." 4 minutes ago

"I finished my water." 3 minutes ago

"Started working again but I have to get up and pee. BRB" 1 minute ago

Whatever. I'll think about it.

P.S. If you don't know what IGAB means, just think... hard. *pause*

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Pavement?

I just got home from my friends house -- a trip that usually takes me 15 minutes. You know how long it took me to get home this time?

Three hours.

Tres, san, tri, trois, tre, drie... THREE.

You know what I could have done in those three hours? Let's make a list...
-Drive back to my old college, pack up the stuff I left at my apartment, and drive back home. It takes me about an hour and 20 minutes one way.
-Count to like a million really fast or something
-Could have watched The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers in its entirety
-Drive to Portland, Oregon from my house.


Yes, Oregon. I live in Washington.

The reason for having this incredibly awesome, soul sucking, life dwindling traffic? They are widening the highway next to Bellevue. Basically putting pavement down and running it over and over with steamrollers.

Pavement. Really?

I'm exhausted.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Introducing the Shake Weight



Ummm...

Monday, August 10, 2009

Slow and steady wins the race...

I am the slowest walker in the world.

A newborn baby fresh from the womb could walk faster than me. But wait Arthur, newborn babies can't walk!

Exactly.

I figured this out while walking to work. You see, my worksite is so big that if you are only 5 minutes past 7:30AM... there is limited parking left.

This means your ass is walking a marathon.

Not literally 26+ miles, but seriously it's about a mile from my car to my desk at work. I arrive at my desk with sweat beads pouring from my forehead.

Did I mention I walk excruciatingly slow also?

Those DSL turtles on TV would be proud -- it takes me about 20 minutes to complete the trek. I get passed by EVERYBODY. Initially I thought maybe it was that they were taller so they covered more ground, then this small Asian lady zooms past me. Go figure. They make this interminable death march for me seem like a short 30 feet jaunt at the pace they are going.

It's okay though -- slow and steady wins the race. Why? Because at the end of the day when I walk to my lonely minivan, guess what I get to do...

...and guess who smells it? All those rabbits passing me up.

Spicy!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bobble Bobble Addendum


From left to right:
The Dream, Lee from Rush Hour, Codeine, Bobby V., Benson, Alaska, Carter from Rush Hour/Trevor Ariza, and Livesoft aka. I-90 runner...Miss Chinese Seattle is hiding in there too.

We ended up gettin' hooked up with 2 dollar beers... dunzo?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Bobble Bobble





Gree-Fee bobblehead night.

Pretty exciting -- at least the 7th inning. I fell asleep from the 3rd until the 6th. I blame the pacing of baseball.

It might have also been the beers I drank.

I know I said I would stop, but it was a special occasion, c'mon now. This is my first bobble head *pause*. Plus we won the game so chupalo mi heuvos!

Tell me why the bobble head itself looks like a generic black dude though...? Oh well.

Happy Birthday Kenny, you drunk ass, Belvedere pissin', Chinese restaurant owning, Jackie Chan, Lee from Rush Hour 1, 2 and 3, looking ass boy!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Why do I drink alcohol?

Woke up this morning a tad hungover.

I hate feeling hungover.

As I was sitting there seeping out the countless amounts of Tanqueray and orange juice I drank from last night through all my pores due to the damn heat, I asked myself 'Why do I drink alcohol?'

Damn.


This was a valid question. I sat perplexed for an hour thinking to myself while an early broadcast of the 'Bumpits' informercial droned on in the background.

Wanting to get to the bottom of this, I brainstormed a list in my head as I drove home from Seattle in my minivan. Let's point out the PROS and CONS...

CONS
- impedes my goal of losing weight/gaining muscle. (I'm super buff -- trust me)
- potentially can be a super asshole and hurt people's feelings. (sometimes)
- potentially can do stupid shit and/or things I'll regret later. (beer goggles are dangerous)
- potentially can black out, get spins, urinate off the balcony of my house, proceed to throw up on my clothes, then lay down on said balcony and go to sleep. (never happened)

PROS
- I'm drunk.
- lose 5+ pounds due to the inevitable, monstrous, yet relieving, poo poo the morning after. (too much information for you? You read it anyway, neener neener)

From my awesome list, it is clearly visible that the CONS have outweighed the PROS. Due to this surprising result, I will ween myself from drinking alcohol and only reserve consumption of sweet ambrosia for the occasional need to ... as some would say, 'to get crunk'.

For now. ;]

Monday, July 27, 2009

Janet Jackson


...*sigh*

I swear every damn time I watch this video I get completely smitten -- I'm not talking about the anonymous shirtless male models (c'mon now), I'm talking about Ms. Janet Jackson.

If you took Janet Jackson in this video and lined her up with today's R&B superstars, I would still pick Janet. Hands down. Keri Hilson is coo, but c'mon... better than Janet? It's not even Janet's body that does it for me. It's the smile -- freaking hypnotizing me.

I'll be sitting in my cubicle at work busily hacking away at a project while listening to Pandora and this song will come up. Guess what Arthur does? Does he stay engaged on his work? Haiiillll no! I drop everything and start dancing in the middle of my cube. No joke..

..not too long though because I don't wanna get in trouble. *snort* *snort* *chortle*

But ya'll get the point.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Time to make some planes!



First day of work is tomorrow!

I'm a Product Data Management Engineer - Level 1. It's about to be level 99 soon though, word to Final Fantasy.

I'm excited yet a little apprehensive. This is a significant step of my life. This is the real start of my career. This is Arthur starting big boy life. Just seems like yesterday when I was running around my parent's house, sharpie in hand, and writing all over the walls. It's crazy. Now I gotta goto bed at 10PM every night and wake up early in the morn. Damn...

Let me get serious for a bit.

I'd like to thank God for blessing me with this opportunity to work and provide for my family and myself. I am lucky to have a job in such a volatile job market. I'm definitely counting my blessings and will never forget where I'm from, anybody who have supported me, anybody who have loved me. I'm grateful. Love ya'll.

Arthur flying out!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I survived..

..freakin' Vegas.

Why was I in Vegas? Because I have cojones the size of softballs. It was also my friend Jordan's cousin, JD's bachelor party. That sounds kind of confusing but I think you guys are smart enough to figure it out. JD I wish you the best, man.

I'm not going to get into details of the trip though. Neener neener neenerrrr.

All nine of us went out every night, had table service every night, had bottle service every night, was a boss every night. We definitely turned our swag on, took a look in the mirror, and said 'what's up'.

We ended up killing 12 fifths of alcohol, 8 of which were popped in the club. I was a little bit drunk.

Freakin' Vegas.