I'm Finally Getting Lei'd!

Har har! Arthur you're so funny!

But seriously, tomorrow I'm leaving for Hawaii until the end of the month. I've never been over there so I'm super excited. I just want to try any and everything -- from doing some luaus, hula dancing wearing just coconuts and a grass skirt (no homo), snorkling, feeling up some coconuts (no homo)...[TI] you can do whatever you liiikkee, you can do whatever you liiikeeee yaaaaahhh [/TI]...

This place is going to be my house for a few days...



I'm not joking either. It's like my own castle! Definitely fitting for somebody with the name Arthur... am i kewl yet?

But seriously I'm in awe just looking at pictures. I'm blessed to have the opportunities given to me... I'm always deeply appreciative of what I have. Hard work and being yourself is all you need. Now it's just my turn to play a little bit... other than my video games. ;]

Updates aren't guaranteed, but I'll definitely be taking pictures. Take it ez y'all!

Happy Birthday Chris!

Big two one! Awwwwwwwww shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... et.

If you couldn't tell which one is Arthur, I'm wearing a shirt that celebrates women breastisis. Am I kewl yet?

Happy Birthday, doggie.

Michael Phelps summed up in one picture...

Dude's a beast. Period. Might as well call him a fish, because dude STAYS in the water. My mama even told me this dude has ADD. I bet this guy thinks of what he's going to eat while he's racing and getting 2132109 gold medals.

I say this because dude eats 12,000 calories a day. 12,000. Twelve thousand. That's the six times the daily average for a regular person. Motha fucka! Like I read this article -- he eats a whole packet of pasta you get from the market for dinner, THEN eats a whole pizza, then drinks 1000 calories of energy drinks.



But whatever, Olympics are tight. Take it ezzz y'all.

Oh yeah Seahawks won too, gj gj.

Goin' to my first Seahawk Game

Granted it's pre-season... but I don't give a uff!

High chance of being inebriated.

High chance of eating meat (no homo).

High chance of giving some 'suckits' out.

High chance of havin' fun.

Well I always have fun regardless what I'm doing but whatever!! I've been pretty busy lately, work and play makes Arthur a bo$$. Don't worry though -- I'll still update.

Hallaaaaaa

I got two words for you...

If you know me personally, or if you're just been following the blog for a while, you know I'm a fan of a particular gesture -- a rather vulgar gesture at that. BUT, if you know me, you also know that I'm all jokes and it's all in good fun.

How do you do this gesture, you ask?

Basically you cross your arms and place them conveniently over your crotch-region. Sometimes forcefully. Sometimes gently.

What does this gesture mean, you ask?

Simply, it means that you request fellatio.

Or in other brash and crude words, to "suck it"!! I apologize if you find offense -- it's understandable. To be fair to me though, it's usually occurs when I'm not Arthur the Aardvark, but Arthur the Inebriated.

Let's get some examples in here:






Before you say, "Arthur, you dumb ass you're not doing it in this one!"...

...it's because I don't have to! I'm a bo$$

Can't forget this post.

I'm not the only fan of telling people to, you know, suck it. My younger brother showed me this video earlier today of a sponsored skateboarder. I'm a fan of Jamal Smith, but I have not seen this video before today. Regardless, I personally think he has great taste (no homo) and can almost dance better than me (almost).



Am I kewl yet?

hahahah later you guys ;]

Awkward Work Story

Ever come into work late? Ever have to make up time at the end of the day? It happens to me every once in a while -- whoever invented the Snooze button was a genius... but shit, it eff's me up the butt sometimes *pause*.

Well the other day I was late to work and had to make it up by staying over a little bit more. No big deal. 4 o'clock hits. People start trudging out the door to enjoy reality, trickling out the big company doors only to face the asphalt abomination that is I-405. Eventually only one remains, King Arthur the Intern.

Another hour passes and I'm dunzo! I pack my stuff and head for the elevator. While waiting for the elevator to hit (I'm on the 5th floor), I start getting the bubble guts. You know the feeling, where all the fart and gas that you've been bottling up the whole day that starts seeping out once you start to get up and move. The feeling that makes you regret eating that 99 cent beef and potato burrito. Yeah, that feeling.

I think to myself, "Heheh nobody's here Arthur, don't worry. Just loose once you get in. You're a bo$$."

Once I step in, I let 'er rip. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTTTTTTT... BRUUUTT... BRUT... BRut. I swear if I was bare assed and sitting on a piece of construction paper, I would have ripped that shit in half off the strength of my gas *pause*.

I'm grinning ear to ear as I watch the elevator LED display read 5th Floor... 4th Floor...

DING!




My grin instantly fades. Shit. Somebody is going to enter.

It's my co-worker. A co-worker that is equivalent to a manager. Damnit.

"Hello, Arthur."

I muster out a "Hey, how's it goin'?" before we just stand there, reveling in the wondrous, poisonous scent that is Arthur Fart. Awkward. Seemed like it took forever to hit the 1st floor.

"Have a good day!" ... "Thanks Arthur, you too."

Needless to say, I left with the quickness.

At the end of the day though, you just gotta laugh at it -- man... whatever hahahahah. That's just life for you. Well Arthur's life, I don't know.

Take it easy, ya'll.

Bears are the best animal. Period!

Hey, what is your favorite animal? Dog? Cat? Goat? Doesn't matter -- bears are better. Bears are... THE best animal. Period. If you don't agree...




Get outta here. LoL

Three reasons why bears are the best animal...

1. They are lazy as hell.

Bears are lazy as hell -- they sleep for freaking up to 7 months! This is 7 months without moving, exercising, or taking a shit. In order for them to do this, they lower their heart rate from 60-90 beats per minute to 8-40 beats per minute. Eight beats per minute. Really? That's 1 beat every 7.5 seconds. Yes I'm a nerd, don't worry about it. But seriously how can you do that? Just imagine not taking a doo doo for 7 months...



People call this hibernating. I call it being a bo$$.

2. They fish.

Fishermen are tight -- fishing is one of the things I like doing, even though I may not be that great at it :D Fishies fishies are a staple of a bears diet... and they catch them with their bear/bare (get it? am i kewl yet?) hands. I mean, if I can't catch much with a pole no homo... don't know if I'd have much luck with my bare hands. Think about it too, bears don't even have opposable thumbs! Shit's amazing. I am aroused.

3. They beat ass.

Bears are buff as fuk. Almost as buff as me.........(lol). But seriously, they possess extraordinary strength, regardless of size or animal. A bear can kill a moose, elk, deer, whatever the hell it wants, in one swipe of its front paw. What the hell.

But Arthur... what about lions, tigers, rhinos, and elephants...?



Bears are the best animal. Period. I asked my friends though, "What is your favorite animal?" I like dogs! I like puppies! I like foxes! I like hippos! I like black panthers!

Whatever!! All get dunzo'd by the bear. Halla @ bears.

Funny thing though -- I asked my pops what his favorite animal was... he replied "Goats, because I can eat it when I get bored of it"


Lol wow really??????? hahahahaha