Computer not Putin'

My desktop with all my media is kaput for now.

First, everything would power up but it would not POST nor send video signals over to my monitor. I tried unplugging/plugging in everything, tried powering it with nothing connected, tried it without the auxiliary fan hooked up, etc.

Nothing.

Had some time to tinker with it today -- tried to unseat the motherboard battery to reset the volatile BIOS/CMOS. Left it out for few minutes then reseated it. No dice. Tried to unseat and reseat the RAM. No dice.

Now it just whirrs for two seconds, then putters out. Then starts up again. Like its trying breathe or something. Sad.

Can somebody help me? Can somebody hold me? Have you tried sleeping with a broken heart?