WTF CAPTCHA?

Pretty sure even though you all may not know what a CAPTCHA is, you know what a CAPTCHA is.

Doesn't make sense? Let me explain.

A captcha are those weird words the internet asks you to type in to verify that it is actually a human using the computer, and not some robot. You know, those funky pictures that are all swirly and ask you to type some letters in... popular examples is if your signing up for something, buying something off the internet, watching adult videos. You know, common stuff.

They look like this...

Now that you know what they are... look at the captcha I got the other day on Facebook.

How are you going to make me type a calculus problem as a captcha? How are you going to make me use a TI-89 Titanium graphing calculator to post something on my Facebook? Am I going to need a number 2 pencil and paper to do this?

Seriously though, how do expect me to do that fraction? Of course if I wanted to take the time to try and figure this out, I would have got it easy. But, c'mon... just to post on my Facebook? Really?

Twitter?

I've constantly debated with myself if I should get a Twitter account.

Multiple people have told me that I should, and that they would follow me. The question that I pose to you is, why?

Why would you want to follow Arthur?

I am just an undercover nerd that spends his free time reading articles on the internet, reading rad fantasy novels, playing Street Fighter 4 for hours on end, watching YouTube videos of professional video gamers.

I mean, I do normal stuff too. I have hobbies that I'm good at! I swear. Really.

I just never really got the point of Twitter -- I can envision my updates now...

"Alright guys, just saw a cute girl at work eating a popsicle. IGAB." 20 minutes ago

"I'm thirsty but I can't stand up to goto the water fountain because IGAB" 10 minutes ago

"Finally got some water." 5 minutes ago

"This water is really good." 4 minutes ago

"I finished my water." 3 minutes ago

"Started working again but I have to get up and pee. BRB" 1 minute ago

Whatever. I'll think about it.

P.S. If you don't know what IGAB means, just think... hard. *pause*

Pavement?

I just got home from my friends house -- a trip that usually takes me 15 minutes. You know how long it took me to get home this time?

Three hours.

Tres, san, tri, trois, tre, drie... THREE.

You know what I could have done in those three hours? Let's make a list...

-Drive back to my old college, pack up the stuff I left at my apartment, and drive back home. It takes me about an hour and 20 minutes one way.
-Count to like a million really fast or something
-Could have watched The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers in its entirety
-Drive to Portland, Oregon from my house.

Yes, Oregon. I live in Washington.

The reason for having this incredibly awesome, soul sucking, life dwindling traffic? They are widening the highway next to Bellevue. Basically putting pavement down and running it over and over with steamrollers.

Pavement. Really?

I'm exhausted.

Introducing the Shake Weight

Ummm...

Slow and steady wins the race...

I am the slowest walker in the world.

A newborn baby fresh from the womb could walk faster than me. But wait Arthur, newborn babies can't walk!

Exactly.

I figured this out while walking to work. You see, my worksite is so big that if you are only 5 minutes past 7:30AM... there is limited parking left.

This means your ass is walking a marathon.

Not literally 26+ miles, but seriously it's about a mile from my car to my desk at work. I arrive at my desk with sweat beads pouring from my forehead.

Did I mention I walk excruciatingly slow also?

Those DSL turtles on TV would be proud -- it takes me about 20 minutes to complete the trek. I get passed by EVERYBODY. Initially I thought maybe it was that they were taller so they covered more ground, then this small Asian lady zooms past me. Go figure. They make this interminable death march for me seem like a short 30 feet jaunt at the pace they are going.

It's okay though -- slow and steady wins the race. Why? Because at the end of the day when I walk to my lonely minivan, guess what I get to do...

...and guess who smells it? All those rabbits passing me up.

Spicy!

Bobble Bobble Addendum

From left to right:
The Dream, Lee from Rush Hour, Codeine, Bobby V., Benson, Alaska, Carter from Rush Hour/Trevor Ariza, and Livesoft aka. I-90 runner...Miss Chinese Seattle is hiding in there too.

We ended up gettin' hooked up with 2 dollar beers... dunzo?

Bobble Bobble

Gree-Fee bobblehead night.

Pretty exciting -- at least the 7th inning. I fell asleep from the 3rd until the 6th. I blame the pacing of baseball.

It might have also been the beers I drank.

I know I said I would stop, but it was a special occasion, c'mon now. This is my first bobble head *pause*. Plus we won the game so chupalo mi heuvos!

Tell me why the bobble head itself looks like a generic black dude though...? Oh well.

Happy Birthday Kenny, you drunk ass, Belvedere pissin', Chinese restaurant owning, Jackie Chan, Lee from Rush Hour 1, 2 and 3, looking ass boy!

Why do I drink alcohol?

Woke up this morning a tad hungover.

I hate feeling hungover.

As I was sitting there seeping out the countless amounts of Tanqueray and orange juice I drank from last night through all my pores due to the damn heat, I asked myself 'Why do I drink alcohol?'

Damn.


This was a valid question. I sat perplexed for an hour thinking to myself while an early broadcast of the 'Bumpits' informercial droned on in the background.

Wanting to get to the bottom of this, I brainstormed a list in my head as I drove home from Seattle in my minivan. Let's point out the PROS and CONS...

CONS
- impedes my goal of losing weight/gaining muscle. (I'm super buff -- trust me)
- potentially can be a super asshole and hurt people's feelings. (sometimes)
- potentially can do stupid shit and/or things I'll regret later. (beer goggles are dangerous)
- potentially can black out, get spins, urinate off the balcony of my house, proceed to throw up on my clothes, then lay down on said balcony and go to sleep. (never happened)

PROS
- I'm drunk.
- lose 5+ pounds due to the inevitable, monstrous, yet relieving, poo poo the morning after. (too much information for you? You read it anyway, neener neener)

From my awesome list, it is clearly visible that the CONS have outweighed the PROS. Due to this surprising result, I will ween myself from drinking alcohol and only reserve consumption of sweet ambrosia for the occasional need to ... as some would say, 'to get crunk'.

For now. ;]