My name is Arthur James. If you read this blog, if you know me, if you just met me, if you sweat me, if you wouldn't let me, you know my name. Arthur James is a pretty sophisticated name if you ask me. I'm not trying to be conceited or big-headed or anything.. It's true! How many Arthur James do you know? That's right. None. I'm a bo$$.
Yeah I just contradicted myself but I do I care? No. I don't give a fffuuuuuuuuuu...
Going through elementary with a name like Arthur James... you know my ass was about to get teased (no homo). Not like I cared though -- all I know is I beat all y'all asses in the Timed Math Tests, addition, subtraction, multiplication, AND division! Yes, I'm Asian so what?!
Anyway, two things that I've always always ALWAYS were called while growing up:
1. Arthur, the PBS cartoonThis was obvious. EVERY EVERY EVERY time I meet somebody new that's trying to get to know me, hit on me, be a jerk, whatever... 8 times out of 10 the conversation goes like this:
"OH LIKE THE CARTOON?!"
I respond, "YES, LIKE THE CARTOON, YES LIKE THE AARDVARK, YES LIKE A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K, YES YES YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!"
They are aroused.
Not that exaggerated, but you get the idea. But hey, I'm not mad. I don't mind at all. Little Arthur's got style, got game, got all that. He rocks sweaters with the collar, got Francine and Muffy on lock. Everybody loves him.. see look...
Arthur's st-stuntin' like a habit right here. And no, that's not my girlfriend, just a friend.
2. James BondWith a middle name like James, it had to happen. Bond. James freakin' Bond biaaatch! I wasn't mad at all for this one though -- he gets gadgets, gear, and that gushy gushy. Look at this picture right here..
Look at that shit. James Bond's just chillin' with his PP7 pistol and these hoes are straight undressin'. Shiet, one of them is already topless, waiting for the bo$$ to come through and go 'under cover' (am I kewl yet?). Some girl on the top left is getting jealous and lettin' that nip slip. Trying to tempt the top agent... cover that shit up, b!
Sorry for the picture -- it's not safe for work. But hey, you shouldn't be looking at this stuff at work anyway so poo on you! Just clear the history and we'll be in the clear. Hahaha
Anyway, I've been called Arthur the Aardvark and James Bond all my life, but at the end of the day... I'm just Arthur James. Throw up the fist of power with me!