Monday, October 5, 2009

Activia Does It.

Activia just doesn't work for women. It definitely works for men, too.

I just tested it today at work.

Some background: Activia is yogurt that helps women shit. Straight up.

Notice that arrow that's in the logo? That's supposed to mean you go doo doo after you eat this. The bifudis regularis in it makes your bowel move at super speeds. Well, something like that.

Excerpt from a website:
Fact: 87% of Americans have digestive issues such as occasional irregularity.**

What You Can Do
There are a number of ways to help your digestive system and help improve intestinal transit. Among these are:

• Drinking plenty of water and getting adequate exercise
Eating probiotic foods like ACTIVIA®
• Eating a balanced diet

Two weeks of eating ACTIVIA® every day, blah blah blah poo poo poo poo.. you get the idea.

Naturally, I'm questionable.

Today, I took a deuce at work around 9:30AM -- nice and early. Then I'm like... man I want to eat my yogurt. Turns out Activia is all my mom buys -- she's into the healthy stuff. 10AM, Activia is in Arthur's tummy. 10:10AM, Arthur is on the toilet. Again.

Wow. Activia does it.

You think that's amazing? Before my work basketball game, I took another one! This is around 4:40. Three times today. Yes, I am the boss of bowels! I felt like a million bucks, walked outta the restroom like this...

Take that, take that, take that... uh uh uh uh.

Activia is no joke. Time for another one.


  1. Reminds me of the time when we attempted to put laxative in sam's chocolate milk at lunch

  2. Asia eats Activia, that's how she got an eating disorder. Just sayin'.

  3. if i can get as skinny as asia and poop it all out....

    ... i need more